Be Brave

I spent last weekend really taking some time to tie up loose ends on my blog. I wrote some posts about Disney movies and things I had checked off the list. I thought a lot about the activities I was doing and why they were meaningful. I also realized that putting things down helped distill major take aways that maybe I wouldn't recall. Like how much watching Lilo & Stitch made me think about my Grandpa or how my trip to Florida will be forever remembered by the movie Tangled. I thought about how important each of my friendships are and how each time I cross something off this list it is so much more fun when I am building a relationship with a friend. So here is what went up recently:

• Reflecting on Lilo & Stitch and thinking about my Grandparents
• Making sausage with Brad
• Talking about making Kombucha
• A fiesta night with my friend Amanda and Saludos Amigos and The Three Caballeros
• Watching Hercules and being 16
• Getting a passport
• Reflecting on Tangled and Florida
• Wearing a tank top to the Gym

 P.S. I saw this while home the other day. Thought I should share.

Disney Movie Reflection: Tangled and Going Back to Florida

As many of you know, nine years ago I worked at Walt Disney World and declared to the world, slowly but surely, that I am a homosexual and intend to live my life as such. As you might imagine, this was one of the most liberating and traumatic times of my life. Orlando is a place I often dream about. A place that I revisit fond memories of. So about 6 months ago, I decided to go back and visit my friend Brandon who lives there and who I also hadn't seen in 9 years. We've maintained a successful long distance friendship with the use of modern conveniences like text messages and phone calls and Christmas cards and Facebook. I had the disposable income for the first time so I planned a pilgrimage back to the holy land.

I watched Tangled on the plane during the second leg of my journey from Portland to Florida. I wanted to knock two movies off my list while I traveled, one on my way and one returning. I decided on Tangled because it was the most readily available on my Kindle.

I saw the movie the first time at a beer theater in Portland with Amanda during the middle of the day with a bunch of kids surrounding us. I liked it and she liked it and then I kind of forgot about it existing.

The premise is that Rapunzel is stuck in a tower and every year on her birthday she sees floating lights in the distance which she dreams about visiting. For years and years, she doesn't do it and finally on her 18th birthday she musters the courage to escape her tower and see the lights.

So I cried on the plane. There is this scene when Rapunzel finally sees the lights in person (which turn out to be paper lanterns they float each year on the lost princess's birthday) and is just knows somehow this is where she was meant to be.

I tend to have all of the feelings all the time and I am pretty good at finding meaning in almost everything but as I watched Tangled I got more and more excited for my trip. For my return to a place I had loved so much and hadn't revisited in so long.

My new friend Sam, who works at Magic Kingdom, had offered to take me and Brandon and Brandon's boyfriend Jason to all of the Disney parks. We had a whirlwind adventure in which we visited all 4 parks in 15 hours that culminated with watching "Wishes", the nightly firework show above Cinderella's castle which I spend countless hours watching in my year at Disney.

They added a new section to the show were they use digital projectors to make the castle look like different things are happening. Towards the end, the play the music from "I See The Light" from Tangled and project the floating lanterns on the castle. Sam had told me how this was one of his favorite things about Disney. It was a simple little display but it was such an awesome moment to sum up everything meant to go back to a place that had meant so much.

Disney Moview Review: Saludos Amigos & The Three Caballeros

Growing up, I would go with my uncle to his best friend's parent's house for dinner every once in a while. Looking back, I am not entirely sure why I was invited but I remember three things from these dinners. 1. They had one of those vintage Mickey phones and I wished my family had one. 2. This is where I learned that some people like to put fresh pepper on their salads and that that was okay. 3. They would send me home with an 8 hour VHS filled with Disney cartoons and movies. 

This is where my like for Disney all began. With my collection of homemade VHS cassettes each with the titles stacked vertically in perfectly printed ink. I have the most vivid memories of watching Robin Hood and The Brave Little Toaster from these tapes. I also remember that at the end of one of these tapes was The Three Caballeros. I could never get through it because it wasn't entirely animated and I usually just asked my dad to fast forward back to Robin Hood.

So when I set out on this journey, I was excited to revisit The Three Caballeros. The history of both Saludos Amigos and The Three Caballeros is fascinating involving Nazis and federal loan guarantees and resetting the American idea of what Latin America was like.

My BFF Amanda and I planned to make an evening out of these two movies. We made amazing Chorizo nachos and prepared to feel uncomfortable about cultural stereotypes being putting forward by an American company. We were pleasantly surprised with beautiful animation based primarily on the landscape of Latin America. 

Saludos Amigos contains four different cartoons each set in a different South American country. Each cartoon represents an idea element of national identity (Argentina's Gaucho, Chile's Aconcaqua, Peru and Bolivia's Lake Titicaca, Brazil's Samba) and paints beautiful and digestible story about it. In order evoke humor, Disney incorporates Goofy and Donald to be the stand in American tourist who we laugh at as he bumbles about South America. 

The Three Caballeros returns us to Latin America taking us from Argentina back to Brazil and finally spends most of its time in Mexico. The Three Caballeros is a similar format but falls short of Saludos Amigos "here is a great thing about this country" format. The Three Caballeros starts with two cartoons about Argentina one about a penguin who makes a boat of a frozen ice and sails to Ecuador. The second is about a little Gauchito who discovers a winged burro and his adventures to protect him. The most  stunning part of the film is a section about Brazil's Baía. The animation of a city and sunset is nostalgia invoking for a time of simpler animation. The movie wraps with a frantic introduction to Panchito, a rooster from Mexico, who takes us on a fast paced journey through Mexico including beautiful women and dancing cactus and pinata that comes to life.

Overall, both movies are soft, fun and beautiful. They hit their mark of portraying what would have been a foreign land to a new audience and helping shape their assumptions about a different country. 

Disney Movie Reflection: Lilo & Stitch

My grandma's favorite place in the whole world is Hawaii. Grammy lives for her trips to Hawaii. She is  happiest walking along the beach or sitting on a lanai just watching the waves. Her house is decorated in a Hawaiian motif and she tells everyone about the plans she is making for the upcoming year and how last year's trip went. She just emailed me to tell me that she was going to the restaurant owned by Mick Fleetwood.

My grandparents took me and my brother to Hawaii when I was 12 or so. We stayed in a cramped condo for a week with my mom and dad. We took the stereotypical helicopter tour of Maui complete with real life views of the terrain from Jurassic Park. I ate pineapple until I had sores in my mouth and pineapple bagels with passion fruit cream cheese from the farmers market everyday. My grandparents gave me a special treat of an extra week on the island of Oahu. I saw the north sore and bought my cousins puka shell necklaces at a flea market and we chased these things called malasadas and we went to my first Asian market.

When my grandpa (Papa) died when I was 15, we made plans to return to Hawaii and scatter his ashes. We went to the beach outside of their favorite condo and she played their favorite Hawaiian song and drank a glass of pineapple wine and I waded out into the ocean and spread some of his ashes. We did this a few more times on our trip each time leaving a little bit of him behind.

This all has nothing to do with the movie Lilo & Stitch which is basically a weird retelling of the Ugly Duckling story. The movie centers on a family being ripped apart and how an alien without a family reunites the family. The animation is bubbly and the story is sad. You root for everyone to find their place and be reunited together.

The overarching theme of the movie centers on the concept of "ohana" or family and that "no one gets left behind". Everytime I watching this movie, I can't help but think about my grandparents and all of the memories we shared in Hawaii. I remember my grandfather and the fact that he ate a green apple everyday and loved popcorn and that his favorite part of the Polynesian Cultural center was the Tongan drum display. I remember that he was quiet and liked salt on his watermelon and is the reason I know what "Car Talk" is,

Cross It Off: Sausagefest

10. Learn To Make Sausage W Casing

Why did this make the list?
There are a number of goals on my list that are things that I really want to do but I just need a push to make the logistics happen. Making sausage was one of those things. It looked easy to do and fun and tasty but I need the push to make it happen. My friend Brad said early on that he wanted to make sausage from scratch. Having the accountability is really helpful and having someone to partner in the logistics is also amazing. I am an extrovert and sometimes doing all the things I want to do alone is the scariest part.

What did we do?
Brad and I borrowed the sausage making supplies from our friend/coworker Kate. We watched a Youtube video on how to hook up the materials to my Kitchenaid. I looked up some recipes online from some company called Dakotah Sausage Stuffer which really just sounds like a gay porn. We ground about five pounds of chicken thighs and then I stopped following the recipe and just threw in a ton of spices. The stuffing mechanism on the Kitchenaid wasn't working so Brad did a lot of stuffing by  hand. In the end, we made four links in 3 hours and I have about 3/4 of the ground sausage in the fridge waiting to be cased.

What did I learn?
Making sausage isn't hard but it is time intensive especially the casing part. Being able to grind your own meat on the other hand is awesome and something I want to do more often.

Tank Tops

I wanted to share a milestone with everyone that is kind of embarrassing. About a month ago, I was working out and I was really warm. Like uncomfortably hot. I kept thinking "I want to be able to work out in a tank top" but I told myself I couldn't wear a tank top and work out because I am not buff enough and my shoulders are too hairy and I am too pale. I told myself an ugly story.

Well, Jake and his Amanda and I went to the Adidas employee store and they had these workout tank tops that were cool and I said "Well, I will try this on because I need to see how much of a nightmare it will be" which is a terrible thing to tell yourself. I tried it on and it wasn't that bad so I bought it but thought "I will only wear this at home".

I tried it on and Jake said it looked good and I muttered something about it looking bad. And then I thought about it. I thought about it a lot actually and then, last Tuesday, I did the unthinkable and I WORE THE TANK TOP. And nothing happened. I didn't get any dirty looks and I didn't get any awkward compliments. I just wore a tank top and it wasn't a big deal and I felt so confident coming out of that work out that I needed to share.

Cross It Off: Making Kombucha

21. Make Some Sort Of Fermented Beverage

Why did this make the list?

Similar to making sausage, this was something I just wanted to do for awhile but never did because of the logistics. Fermented beverages are all so expensive yet so inexpensive to make I really wanted to make my own batch and see how it compared. I made beer a few times before and really enjoyed it.

What did we do?

I got a SCOBY from Amanda and followed a recipe from The Kitchn. The process was pretty easy. In fact, I did most of the brewing the first go around while watching the Superbowl. I bottled three weeks later and added in organic cherry juice. The bottling process made me really nervous and I put it off until the last day before leaving for Florida. Brewing was easy but it came down to either dumping the whole batch and starting new when I came home or sucking it up and going the the home brew store. My fears were validated when the guy at the home brew store was a dick when I asked about bottles.

What did I learn?

The Kombucha turned out good. The second batch I did a few weeks ago was even better. Good enough that I brought some in for our last potluck. Kombucha is really easy and probably not worth $4 you spend at the store. It takes a lot of counter space and after a few brew cycles you are probably bored with it.

Cross It Off: Becoming Worldly

25. Get A Passport

Why did this make the list?

Here is something I am fairly unproud of: I grew up 20 minutes from the US/Mexico Border and have never been out of the country. I never took a quick trip to Tijuana when I was 16. I didn't study abroad in France. I haven't even taken the quick 5 hour drive up to Vancouver, BC.

The primary reason: not having a passport. Well, not visiting Tijuana was more I wasn't a rebellious teenager and less no passport but it still remains I have never visited a foreign country and the passport is a requirement to that make happen.

What did we do?

I am not going to bore you with how to get a passport. It isn't that hard but I had to do some serious planning. I am a coach by trade and I really had to use my toolkit to make this happen. My friend Amanda provided accountability on getting the picture taken and work Amanda helped make sure I got the paperwork filled out. I also had to do it pretty soon after I got my tax refund so I didn't spend the money I had set aside.

What did I learn?

Things are manageable if you just break them into little steps and that it feels pretty good to accomplish adult things.

Disney Movie Reflection: Hercules

Last Saturday, I stayed home on a Saturday night to just have a chance to recharge my batteries. Jake went out with a couple of his friends and I opted to stay in. I went through my DVDs,, which are mainly from high school, deciding what movie I could cross off my list and ended up on Hercules.

I wasn't very cool in high school. I was nice and most people liked me even if they were torturing me about my chronic acne or about how they thought I was gay or how I wasn't athletic and I went to church and my clothes were a little dorky. I didn't go to rad parties and I didn't have my first Budweiser until the college dorms. My Saturday nights were spent with my mom and Trading Spaces until like 10 PM and then it was either Fight Club or Peter Pan or Royal Tenenbaums or Hercules. And ice cream.

So Hercules is the story of a boy destined for greatness who just doesn't fit into his current situation but through hard work can achieve his full potential. I remember watching the movie on my parent's big screen while everyone slepy and truly feeling every lyric of "I Can Go The Distance". Knowing that I was just stuck in a shell and some day I would rise up and get out and be something better and bigger. Hercules isn't the typical hero of every nerdy teenage boy who loves emo music and clothes from the thrift store. cc for a gay guy who just felt like he never fit in, Hercules symbolized breaking out of a shell and evolving.

Standing 10 years out from high school, it melted my heart to watch Hercules again. To remind my self of the wide eyed spirit of wonder. To put myself in the body of the same guy who read "The Great Gatsby" religiously and identified with every lyric in Kelly Clarkson's "Breakaway".  To stand as an adult with a good job and a good man and a good home and a good dog and realize this is man I was so excited to become when I watched Hercules.