Today, I bring you are next installment of Britney videos with the singles from "Oops!... I Did It Again" from the shiny year 2000 which brings us a collection of videos from when I went from a pop loving middle schooler to an angsty high schooler.
"Oops!... I Did It Again"
Instantly, I am thinking about snakes. So sci-fi! Did he just say "whoa there horsey"? How did they decide to use that line? Was someone just like, "what is the weirdest exclamation we can put in this piece of cutting edge technological art?" Why is CGI so bad? I don't think I really understood the premise of this video when I was a kid. She is an alien queen in an all red pleather flared suit with fire dancers. Why was it so cool to put so much eyeshadow on that your eyes look like they are covered in white out? Let me say despite white out eyes, Britney looks good in this video. Obviously the clothes don't look good but she looks like an adult and fit but not weirdly ripped. The random fire balls shooting out are kind of nuts. Did she just remove her astronaut lover's helmet in space? That is a bad idea. Don't you understand science, Britney? If the song has that pivotal part about the necklace being from the Titanic, why did they go for a space theme? Her vinyl crop top mock turtleneck is so modern.
"Lucky"
Best video ever. I love the melodramatic masks. It sets up the drama. Britney's red top is bananas. It is missing panels and connect with small red pieces and is a little like a bandanna while being a little like a kimono. I would class it an Asian fusion top. I do love her robe when she play "Lucky". She kind of looks awesome as this weird 1930s starlet. Two Britneys! Britney singing to Britney about what her life will end up being. And she was right! So meta! This evening gown thing she is wearing with jeans is ridiculous. We are at the video breakdown where they have dialogue to further the story. Lucky isn't a 1930s starlet. She just plays one on TV! She is a sun goddess floating on a glitter star spreading joy around the world. More Britney singing to Britney about her future life. More magic glitter. But now we have runny mascara tears face. Britney touches her cheeks while singing about crying just to really drive home the point. She wants to make sure you really understand what tears are.
"Stronger"
The title just stars by flying right at you doesn't it. Like a Matrix action movie. Oh and we are off. It is stormy and Britney is mad at the man who left her. She is really going to violate this chair in her painted on fringe pants. I will never look at a diner chair the same. They will be forever sexy. SHE CAN FREEZE TIME! Future Britney is quite literally stronger with her super powers. The chair can dance on its own. Man she is doing things to that chair that require a cigarette afterwards. Britney, you shouldn't drive a vintage Mustang when you are upset into a lightening field. It is a bad idea. She has hair feathers. And now a sexy geriatric cane. I don't like this CGI bridge scene. BRING BACK THE RAUNCHY CHAIR DANCE and give us more industrial fan.
"Don't Let Me Be The Last To Know"
Mermaid hair and tore up daisy dukes around a beach bonfire. So much boob spilling out of the tiniest Abercrombie bikini top. Man, if she only knew what Jayden and Sean were going to do to her girls. This video is kind of like soft core porn. And this dude looks like the giant poster at Hollister came to life and started sucking on Britney's shoulder. He has a Taurus tattoo. And his pants are so low that he has an intense tan line. Three inches of white between tan and shorts. Why not give him properly fitting shorts are get him a spray tan on those three inches? Why are they in a tree? Who thinks it is sexy to climb in a tree together? Now she is chasing him on the beach and his peck are jiggling all over the place. Like Pamela Andersen jiggling. She keeps making sexy ecstasy face and I feel uncomfortable. Big gold hoop earrings and sexy fade out over the fire. If all I had wrote was "Mermaid hair and tore up daisy dukes around a beach bonfire" you would know what happened during the entire video.
The first two videos are vivid memories from my MTV days and the last two are unknowns that I could have never seen. They all make you appreciate how far CGI has come. You can also see the arc of Britney becoming just a flash in the pan pop one hit wonder to a packaged commodity that they were going to bleed dry. The difference between "From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart" to "Oops!... I Did It Again" is a tightening and a tanning and a polishing. From "Oops!" to "Stronger" is more packaging and more flash and getting things tighter and sexier. By this point she really is saying I am woman not a girl. Finally, "Stronger" to "Don't Let Me Be The Last To Know" is subtle to provocative which is fine. Do what you want, what you want with your body but really goes for it by the end of this album.
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