Britney's Video Catalog Volume One: ...Baby One More Time

In preparation for visiting Las Vegas in order to see the one and only Britney Spears, I am going to watch the entire Britney Spears' cannon of music videos. What better way to build momentum and excitement. Today, I start with B. Spears first album "...Baby One More Time" which launched her career. Most of what I remember about this album is that people speculated that at 16 she had gotten breast implants and that was a big deal. Here are my thoughts on the videos from this albums 5 singles:

"...Baby One More Time"

All of the sudden, I am in 8th grade and I am sitting at my original bubbly iMac in yearbook class. Mine was orange because I was a bad ass. I got this CD for Christmas that year and a new discman. Britney obviously looks tiny and young and tan and my god Miadas are cheesy. Men's tank tops are so loose that nip slips are all over the place. Additionally, when did workout gear become socially acceptable day wear. I forgot that there is a Justin Timberlake look alike in this video. Was that a symbol of things to come? Why are they doing a holding hands circle dance? Why does Britney look so hot twirling a basketball? I forgot about that really cool 90s typeface on athletic clothes where the numbers are slanted and look really fast.

"Sometimes"

So magical. This video reminds me of TRL I expect that Carson Daly is going to start talking over it at some point. Also, who is Kenny and why does he have his own cove? She is wearing Sketchers with her all white outfit. Now, there are Old Navy platform flip flops! When was it ever okay for someone to wear a white ball cap on the beach? I love that pink inflatable balloon from the giant cage in the toy aisle at Target Britney is twirling but it isn't quite as sensual as in the "...Baby One More Time" video. I am really glad that she is able to make those quarter telescopes sexy. Oh, they did another circle dance move but this time it made a heart. Gratuitous Britney ab shot. She loves drawstring pants. Is Abercrombie still open?

"(You Drive Me) Crazy"

Melissa Joan Hart. They guy from Entourage. Sexy, vintage waitresses going out on the town. More gratuitous abs. Great start.This video really exemplifies turn of the century style. Synthetic fabrics, neon lights, drum machines, and mixed drinks in blenders. I am really glad that they are spinning the record with her face on it. She has the insane garage door eye shadow that made MAC famous. Melissa Joan Hart's hair looks terrible. Like weird sea witch tentacles. This video does really showcase her dance skills though and I do love that green glitter top. I had the same orange pants with the side stripes as one of her backup dancers.

"Born to Make You Happy"

Before I start watching and writing, I need to tell you that I vaguely remember this song just from the album but that I don't remember this video. Or maybe the screen I am paused on is jogging some distantly logged memory. VEVO on has it logged as having like 55,000 views which is pathetic for Britney. Is this a lost video that never saw the light of MTV? Let us begin.

No I don't think I remember this. She has silver eye makeup on and is in a weird room that is decorated with foil. Now she is in a hot room with men with a pleather sheath top and a bizarre maxi skirt that is slitted to reveal a mini skirt. Gratuitous abs. This video was lost for a reason. The backup dancers in the main dance sequence are wearing maroon vinyl shirts that have a subtle leopard print and gold vinyl pants with a flare. A man just surprised her and now they are having a sexy pillow fight. This video has moments where they speed up the film while they are dancing. She is now wearing a white tunic top and white pants. Now she is wearing a butterfly tunic with a Geisha style neck. Why is this video so bad? Why did she start in metallics and end up having a pillow fight?

"From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart"

Is this the Crossroads video? I hope it is. No it isn't but it is the video with the furry bucket hat and all of the sunflowers. She is packing her bags and she is moving out from her mom's house. So literal for B. She has beads in her hair at one point. There are also a lot of butterflies and rope swings. And running towards a water tower. And the boy in this video looks like James Marsden wearing a white Ralph Lauren turtleneck. She has one too! Sunflower billboard for Cedar Springs. Peasant top. I actually like how cute and innocent this video is. Lots of blush and subtle pink lips and Britney just playing in a pile of sunflowers. Shooting star on top of the water tower! He is crying on her front step as she leave for college and tells her that there is someone else. She really should know that when she gets on that bus there are going to be plenty of men to marry and drugs to snort. He tried to chase her in his Jeep. He could have saved her. I like his outfit though. Denim jacket with a gingham plaid shirt. Video ends with an all white outfit again.

The best video of these five was hands down "(You Drive Me) Crazy" and the worst was obviously "Born To Make You Happy". Overall, we had gratuitous abs in 4/5 videos and a lot of late 90s tacky make up. These videos remind me of the magazine Allure and Jones soda and gummy Life Savers. It made me think of buying tinted Clearasil and LA Looks hair gel and pants with racing stripes. These are not memories I wanted to revisit.