The Aristocats
I don't really like cats and this movie is really just the glamorization of an aristocratic old cat lady. I mean (spoiler alert) she gives her entire fortune to a bunch of cats and the sad butler gets pissed and tries to drown some kittens. Way to take this to a dark place. This movie is kind of just Lady and the Tramp with cats and, as a dog person, Lady and the Tramp is always going to be the better movie. Redeeming features include a confusing jazz number in a movie that seems to be set in the turn of the century and the fact that the animation is weirdly scratchy and kind of looks like an impressionist painting.
The Emperor's New Groove
This may be the only Disney movie that Jake likes and possibly the only one he has ever seen. This movie came out in my angsty teen phase so I just missed it all together. I saw it a few years later at the suggest of a boy who I don't remember anymore. Now, I just associate it with sitting on a coach with Jake on a cold winter Saturday and working a project while he snores.It reminds me of him. Silly and heartfelt. A little brash and a little humble. The movie is easy and fun. Not one of my favorite but passes the time in a way that you will say that was silly and fun.
Robin Hood
So Robin Hood is in my top ten favorite Disney characters and was one of my childhood heroes so there was a lot of going into this. Also, I was a little drunk and it was my birthday and was the first movie I watched in my quest to watch at 53 Disney movies.
Robin Hood is all kinds of weird. It strives to explain England at the time of the Crusades using woodland creatures and cutesy songs. It is as dark as The Aristocats with more threatened children's lives and their is a hen who really likes to show off her undergarments. Additionally, there is a bizarre puppet show.
Mulan
I put on Mulan to watch while I wrote thank you cards on New Years eve. I put it on because I thought I wasn't going to like it. I remember seeing it on Veterans day with my brother and grandpa and being a little old for it and the going to McDonalds when it was released. I didn't remember the plot but I remembered that Eddie Murphy played a dragon named Mushu and I don't like Eddie Murphy.
It turned out to be a pretty awesome girl power movie. The whole song number about the match maker and disappointing your family by not matching feminine ideals and then saving your country because you are smart and resilient is pretty much a great message to send little girls. Or just people in general. My two major take aways from Mulan were that you should probably do whatever you want and that fireworks are bad ass.
Snow White and the Seven Dwarves
And the I watched Snow White shortly after Mulan and man is this story pathetic. I mean I appreciate the movie as a piece of art that changed everything but can we put baby in a corner any harder than this movie. I mean she is made to look so weak. SHE NEEDS WOODLAND ANIMALS TO HELP HER CLEAN A TINY HOUSE. Maybe she is just really undernourished.
Also, she meets the Prince for basically five minutes and he just searches for her forever. This is nonsensical. Double also, if she had been dead for like 6 months that glass box wouldn't really help and the dwarves should have realized something was a foot when her body wasn't getting nasty.
I do like the dwarves in general and that the queen kills herself because she is an idiot.
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